By Guest Bloggers Bill and Barb Mathauer
How can I describe MARTHA “MARSIE” MATHAUER?
At the
beginning, schools had no accommodations or programs to teach students with
Down Syndrome or any special need students because the teachers didn’t have the
education or experience to allow Martha to attend school with her brothers and
sisters.
No
standardized testing or programs were even available to children with Down Syndrome
or any other type of learning challenges. But Martha had a very close family with great relationships
and family dynamics abounding.
Martha’s
favorite activities included taking family car rides in the country and trips
to Linder’s Ice Cream store, riding her bike, playing with her dogs Spikey and
Tippy and parakeets Birdie and JoJo. But the highlight of her day would be visiting
with nieces and nephews and she called them all her “grandkids” because she
lived with her parents, who referred to them as grandchildren.
There was lots
of interaction with her siblings and later after moving to Greenwood, three of
her siblings and their families lived on the same block as Martha and her parents
and they all visited her almost daily.
She enjoyed
making craft items, doll clothes, watching TV and was independent in her wants
and needs. Even though she was unable to
read or write she loved books: she would
study the cover of each book and use her great imagination to tell you all
about the story. Another highlight of
her day with her grandkids was when they brought her their old school
workbooks: she would spend hours tracing
the letters and numbers and felt she had her homework to do, too. Marsie loved make-up and nail polish and lots
of magazines. She loved to help cook and always expressed
her ideas about everyday life because she was an integral member of the family,
by often reminded her siblings that SHE was the oldest and so they had to do
what she wanted ~ resulting in lots of joking around and teasing and of course,
always plenty of laughter and fun.
A new
opportunity opened up for Martha which she only dreamed about. She began going to a sheltered workshop with the Johnson
County Association Retarded Citizens at Gateway
Services in 1989 in Franklin, Indiana
and she felt a great deal of pride and accomplishment. She soared with this new independence: now having her first real JOB outside her home! She couldn’t wait for the bus to arrive and off
she went by herself – what an accomplishment!
She easily made friends and enjoyed their camaraderie and even had a
boyfriend “Teddy”. They attended
workshop parties and danced the night away.
This special friendship was another milestone for her, which enhanced
her life experiences by growing and maturing in so many ways.
As time went on, Grandma spent various
periods in a nearby nursing home. Her
siblings/ spouses and nieces took turns staying with Martha at night. We were supposed to be taking care of her. When walking in the door from work there was
chicken in the oven ready for us to eat & her clean clothes were in the
washer and coffee made every morning - Marsie was taking care of us!
In 1990,
Martha moved outside her home for the first time at age 55. She moved into a group home about a mile away
because her dad had died 11 years earlier and her mom’s declining health warranted
a long term care facility. This nursing
home was also within 2 miles from Martha’s new group home operated by Cardinal
Services. Her adjustment went fairly
smooth but she lost privileges because she was used to fixing her own food
& coffee and now she was unable to perform those tasks without supervision.
The other women at the group home had come from institutional settings and were
gaining privileges. There were some learning
curves to manage and re-think – especially for the staff. Martha’s roommate was her best friend from
their workshop: WOW!
Martha
resided there until undergoing a knee replacement & therapy and then moved in
1997 to North Willow, a facility for physically and mentally challenged adults with
their own sheltered workshop facility for the residents. She was excited to be able to help push a
wheelchair for someone or pick up something off the floor for those unable to
do it themselves. She fit in very well
and with her outgoing personality, she enjoyed the staff who appreciated her
willingness to be the first to volunteer with using a potter’s wheel when the
other residents were frightened to try.
She told them it was “neat” and easy to use and before long, the other
residents took their turn. Like any
home, there were challenges but Martha plowed thru and continued to joke with
others and enjoy herself.
Martha
continued to see family often and loved to go out to eat, go shopping and was
very clever in soliciting a few dollars from family members. When she received mail, she always looked for
a dollar bill or two to be inside. Martha
joined in holiday parties, dressing as a “nun” at Halloween and as a shepherd
and as an angel in the Christmas Plays. Our family joined her for these special
times and she always enjoyed the visits from Santa.
She lived at
North Willow, which became Golden Living for 18 years. Then in the spring of 2015, the facility was
changing its focus to just serving short-term physical therapy residents. This
resulted in finding a suitable and engaging new home. After much discussion and insistence by her
family, we found a wonderful location near family at University Heights Health
& Living Center. When she was leaving
North Willow the last time, the staff was pretty emotional at her departure
because she had become their family, and ours, too
.
.
Martha gets
around her new home in her wheelchair by walking with her feet and likes bingo,
manicures, movies and surprises from family members who see her at least weekly
if not several times a week. Recently, Martha celebrated her 80th
Birthday on July 24, 2015 with family and festivities! We believe that Martha is the oldest living
Down Syndrome person in the State of Indiana and she is such a blessing to all
who meet her. She has gifted all of us
with her humor, laughter and kind heart.
Unbeknown
to any of Martha’s brothers and sisters, we discovered that when Marsie’s nieces
were pregnant, they refused amniocentesis.
They were appalled that their doctor would suggest such a test! If any one of them had a baby with Down
Syndrome, they would love the baby without reservations. They all loved their Aunt Marsie and couldn’t
imagine anyone wanting to try to change their minds by terminating a pregnancy – it was so cruel and out of the
question! As parents, we were so proud
of each of them. They didn’t see those
with challenges to be unworthy. They were
loved by Marsie and she knew how much they all loved her.
As
these “grandkids” grew up with children of their own, they continue to share
their children with Aunt Marsie by visiting, sending her cards and pictures,
taking her to a movie and sneaking her an extra dollar bill or two.
From
the day she was born, our mom and dad were not given any hope of her survival
past 10 to 15 years. Doctors suggested putting
her in an institution so she wouldn’t be a burden. But LOVE and FAITH were strong beliefs held by
our parents, and what a joy Martha is and how many lives she has touched
throughout her life.
Marsie
has indeed been a wonderful influence in each of our lives and taught each of
us Joy, Perseverance, Acceptance and to Seize the Moment by encouraging everyone’s dreams to become a reality. Marsie has indeed gifted each one of us and
is a blessing that keeps on giving with her spunky personality and big
smile. Thank you for letting us share
Martha “Marsie” Mathauer with each of you and hope we
always see the gifts in one another without reservation. We are so fortunate to have Martha enrich our
lives – and we thank God for allowing us to be her family.
